In another place, I would have been a better person. But here, let’s just make the best out of our now and not be worse than who we are. Hatred and anger only rots the heart. 

-thejournalofaneternalstudent

MAgkakasakit na yata ako, 
         bagsak na katawan ko…
Saluhin mo ko pleeeease.

haha.

Wala na talagang gentleman sa Maynila sa parehong paraan na wala na ring gentle woman - lahat amazona! Punta ka lang ng MRT at maiintindihan mo sinasabi ko.

So You Want To Be A Writer 

by Charles Bukowski

if it doesn’t come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don’t do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don’t do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don’t do it.
if you’re doing it for money or
fame,
don’t do it.
if you’re doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don’t do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don’t do it.
if it’s hard work just thinking about doing it,
don’t do it.
if you’re trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.
if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you’re not ready.

don’t be like so many writers,
don’t be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don’t be dull and boring and
pretentious, don’t be consumed with self-
love.
the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
sleep
over your kind.
don’t add to that.
don’t do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don’t do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don’t do it.

when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.

there is no other way.

and there never was.

“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery—isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.” 

                                                                                          — Charles Bukowski (Factotum)

Before anything else, I’d like to clarify that I have no claim of authorship on the article about abortion. I first read it in facebook as I was tagged by my cousin. Then I reposted it here in tumblr. I also thank the person who sent me a message regarding her views about the story. This is a reply to her message.

The power to choose is the greatest gift given by God to man. Everyday, whether you know it or not, you wake up to countless chances to decide - like what clothes to wear, what to eat, what path to take, what to believe in, what to fight for, etc. I was never anti-choice. In fact, before I decide I always look at all options I have.

You said, “pro-choice is pro-women being able to choose.” Yes, women can choose (as well as men) because every human being is entitled to this gift of free will. Think about waking up feeling soooo tired about your work but still you decided to go to your office and work. Does that mean, you have no choice at all? No, it doesn’t because you can choose to be a bum. However, work is a commitment so you don’t just disappear from your boss. It is also a responsibility to earn and provide needs. Doing your work well is, therefore a responsible choice. It is likewise true in pregnancy. It is a commitment to take care of the life inside your womb. It is a responsibility you have at the moment you decide to procreate. In truth, when it comes to pregnancy there are no options at all. There is only one way- to give birth because that is how God designed it.

The story, first captures the mom-to-be’s excitement and love for her child. All of a sudden, she changed her mind at that moment when her husband left/abused her. The woman in the story wants her baby to live but she was forced into a decision of aborting her child -decision she did not want- because of her abusive husband. Where is choice then? In many cases all over the world, abortion happens because of scorn, hatred, shame, fathers and relatives not wanting the baby to be born, career loss, protecting the reputation, wedlock, abuse, being subject to malicious gossip and poverty. All of these pushes the mother to resort to abortion. All of these, tell her to kill her own child. Abortion, in fact is her first option, her easiest escape and most of the time, a confused mother who lacks support may think that abortion is her only option. If you happen to ask women or girls why they tried and decided to abort their pregnancy, they would’ve answered, “I have no choice…my family will disown me if they knew or my boyfriend tells me so…etc. And that would go against being pro-choice. Being pro-choice means she has the power to choose life. It means being given the best option of making her baby live despite people and situations trying to trap her into abortion. It means choosing to do what is right, necessarily because our free will -our power of choice- is an affirmation of God’s love, in any case, it must be used to respond to His love.

The story also gives a glimpse of how it feels to be a baby in a mother’s womb. We once were, but we have no memory of it. More so, how it feels to be the baby aborted and killed through the person who should have been her protector. Think: had I been that same baby aborted by my own mom…

Abortion kills lives. It is evil. That is the truth. I am a Catholic. I do not hate the mother who decides for abortion. I hate abortion itself. I am pro-life, pro-choice and anti-abortion. Spread kindness and love.

                                                                               -journalofaneternalstudent